-When someone gets the right to do something, it doesn’t take away any of your rights.
-Except for sparklers, fireworks are not meant to be handheld.
-It is physically impossible to do a punk rock version of a Sousa March so don’t even try.
-It is possible to do a Rock Guitar version of “The Star Spangled Banner”. But you will never do it as well as this guy.
-It doesn’t matter where you were born, if you can eat six Hot Dogs in under three minutes, you deserve to be an American.
-If you get your dog high and then set off fireworks next to him, you are a dick.
-And remember, if you don’t vote, you can’t bitch about how elections turn out. Don’t be afraid to be a malcontent. VOTE!!
And now I’m going to put on MW3 and engage in phony murder before work. HAPPY FOURTH OF JULY, BITCHES!