It’s not that I don’t care anymore. I do.
It ‘s not that I don’t believe my voice counts, it does. Every voice does.
It just that…wait. I think I’m getting ahead of myself. Let me start over.
It’s been a long week here at the Jensen compound.
My trusty old MacBookPro, after surviving it’s service contract by a full two years finally started going south on me. As a result, I had to whip out the Sears card and get a new Acer laptop for work. (Tiny little Windows run bastard but at least it’s Windows 7 and now XP which drove me into the arms of Apple in the first place.) And that’s not money I was expecting to spend right now. Especially since I’m still paying off the bills from “The Incident”.
Then there’s the matter of the EBook which so far has sold only four copies at Smashwords and I have yet to see any numbers from any other outlets.
And then I had to go to the doctor yesterday for a problem with my…uh…man bits.
Aw, fuck it. I’m in no mood to be coy. It’s a urinary tract infection. I’m on antibiotics for the week and I have to get blood tests on Tuesday because they found my urine had a high glucose count and since diabetes runs in my family, I need to get that checked out.
And on top of that, this week we have the drone war shit, the Job Bill shit, the Michigan Vagina shit. You would think that as a self described Foul Mouth Lefty Blogger, I would be all over this like Ron Swanson on a tub of bacon.
Instead, I wrote nothing. Why?
Because I just didn’t want to.
It’s that simple.
Since the aforementioned incident, I have been aware of two things. How much time I have left and how much joy I have in my current life.
The job I have is not great but the money fits my life style. (Barely this year but…you know.)
It’s been about eight years since I’ve done any real acting because of my work schedule. And I’ve been out of the loop so long, I’m not sure if I could even get back in if I could.
And then there the whole being single thing...(Shudders.)
Now these are all things I’ve managed to make a certain degree of peace with. We are the choices we make in our lives. Yadda, Yadda.
But to face that on a daily basis and then as an encore, have to lay down words about those assholes?
Is it any wonder that my attempts to blog this week ended with my brain telling me to go fuck myself? Which frankly makes my dinners just that much more awkward.
So does this mean I’m giving up the blog? No.
Does this mean I’m giving up writing about politics? You wish.
I’m saying…I’m at low ebb right now and I’m not sure how to dig myself out of my current hole.
So, if posting is sporadic for a bit…it’s this.
Please bear with me.
EDIT: 2:51 P.M. Fixed a grammer issue.