Santorum…Really? Santorum?

Seriously, GOP!  This shit’s not funny anymore!

Rick Santorum scored victories in the Mississippi and Alabama primaries on Tuesday, depriving Mitt Romney of a signature win in a conservative stronghold and raising fresh doubts about the viability of Newt Gingrich’s campaign.

The former Pennsylvania senator made his case for being the lone, serious Republican challenger to Romney for the remainder of the primary by besting Gingrich in states the former speaker’s campaign had previously said were essential to its long-term viability, although there were no signs that this race would lose another candidate anytime soon“We did it again,” Santorum said to wild applause from supporters in Louisiana, and amid projections by NBC News that he would win both Mississippi and Alabama.

Okay, I get it. You guys don’t like Mitt Romney.
And frankly, I don’t blame you.
The minute he started saying “Y’all” and started to say how much he was growing to love “Cheesy Grits”, his unlikeability factor spiked so high, he would have had to strangle a kitten to win people back.  It was like watching Kathie Lee Gifford doing a dinner theater production of “Sweet Bird of Youth”.
And it’s not like you haven’t all ready ticked off most of the list. Michelle Bachman looked promising for a while.  But then her crazy eyes started to remind you of your maiden aunt who like to light incense and talk to your dead uncle with a Ouija Board.
Herman Cain had the swagger but apparently, you realized that creepy smile at the end of his campaign ads had a double meaning.
Ron Paul doesn’t like blowing up things enough to suit your tastes.
Rick Perry gave you too many Bush Flashbacks.
And Gingrich may say all the right things. But he sounds too much like that one college professor who flunked you for that one time you showed up to class, hung over from a kegger and threw up on his desk.
But Santorum?  At the end of the day, he’s the porridge that’s just right?
The guy who lost his Senate seat in 2006 by eighteen points?
The guy who coined the term, “Man on Dog”.  Which led to the most infamous Google Bomb campaign ever created.
The guy who apparently has no fucking clue what so ever how photosynthesis works?

All right.  Be that way.  Enjoy your seventeenth century. I’ll be over here enjoying my wi-fi enabled Jet Pack.

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About theragingcelt

Actor/Writer/Homegrown Pundit/Cranky Progressive/Sometimes Filmmaker. talesofthegeeknation.com
This entry was posted in 2012 Election, Herman Cain, Michelle Bachmann, Mitt Romney, Republicans shooting themseves in the foot, Rick Perry., Rick Santorum, Ron Paul. Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Santorum…Really? Santorum?

  1. oleandertea says:

    I’m from the South, and when I heard that Mittens likes “cheesy grits”, I laughed for ten minutes. I do wish politicians wouldn’t try to take on the local colouring when they campaign…it almost never works.

  2. I’m personally thinking of pitching a remake of “The Boy in the Plastic Bubble” with him in the lead.

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