-Mitt Romney spent four million dollars in Iowa and he barely survives a challenge by a guy who until last week, was polling in the teens. Not to mention having a last name that’s a dirty Google bomb. Seriously, the Republicans are expecting this guy to take on Obama yet he can barely fend off a challenge from little Ricky Santorum.
Good luck selling that in New Hampshire.
-Pop quiz for the ladies.
You ever go out with a guy for a few weeks and then break up with him. A few months later, you see him at the supermarket. You get to talking and you think to yourself, “Geez, he’s a really nice guy. Why did I dump him?” and you make a dinner date with him. Only, somewhere between the appetizer and the main course, every reason you had for breaking up with him suddenly comes screaming back into your brain?
Yeah, that the next phase of the Santorum campaign in a nutshell.
This is a guy who’s already announced that if elected, he’ll attack Iran. (Nice job courting those Ron Paul supporters.) Has a social agenda just to the right of Jerry Farwell and is so paranoid about gay sex, he’ll only eat a corn dog with a knife and fork.
Mark my words. If he manages to eek out the nomination, Obama will pound the living Santorum out of him.
-Also, if Santorum does continue on, expect to be deluged with more double entendres than a sixties “Matt Helm” movie. Only without the occasional joke about Dean Martin’s drinking to break up the monotony.
-A bitter Newt Gingrich is a sight to behold.
And for the record, “Managing the decay” is the name of my Sex Pistols tribute band.
So, Newt may have given up on the nomination. But he’s going to be damned if he’s going to lose to a Massachusetts Trust Fund Baby.
And since Rick Perry has announced that he’s staying in the race too, expect them to use their resources to beat Romney like Joe Pesci at the end of “Casino”.
And if this all sounds counterproductive to beating Obama in 2012, you are seriously underestimating how much people really can’t stand Mitt Romney.
-Yes, I know Ron Paul won in third place. Yes, I’m glad he’s still in the race to needle the other candidates on the war and civil liberties. And no, I still don’t want him to be president simply because I reject his desire to kill the EPA, Department of Education and Medicare. I reject the notion that I have to choose between a fascist state and no state. I firmly believe we can have a Government that respects our liberties while providing the services that make a civilization function.
Sorry, Ron Paul fans but I am not getting on this bus.
-With Michelle Bachmann now out of the race, she can now devote more time to helping her husband realize his life long dream of getting Paul Lynde’s old spot in a “Hollywood Squares” reboot.