…who’s name I will not use because apparently, no one can say it without making a cheap joke that wouldn’t make it past a Kevin Smith table read. (We know who it is.) I have a few (very short.) things I need to say about this.
1. Guys. Let’s get this straight once and for all. NO ONE WANTS TO SEE PICTURES OF YOUR JUNK!! If someone wants to see your junk, they will, after an appropriate amount of time (Which is usually between the third Martini and the wedding night.) ask to see it in person. Unless you are perusing a career in porn or participating in a medical study, there is NO GODDAMN REASON WHAT SO FUCKING EVER TO PHOTOGRAPH YOUR JUNK!!!! Are we clear on this? Good. Moving on…
1A. Remember, if you are sending a DM in Twitter, first it’s “D” then space then the Twitter handle you are sending it to. Always reread your tweet before sending. Also a good idea if you need to check for spelling and possible douchiness.
2. Any member of the GOP who is thinking about asking said Representative to resign. If you have in the past been caught in a wide stance or had a paid sex worker change your soiled adult diapers or texted an underage page, you need to shut the fuck up forever!
3. Clarence Thomas still failed to disclose his wife’s income from Anti Health Care Reform groups. And all the penises in the world will not change that. (Also, Anita Hill.)
4. The Bush Tax cuts turn ten this week.
5. A photograph of a penis never tried to tap my phone, pick my pocket or poison my drinking water. In the words of Stan Lee, ’nuff said