MEMO TO DEMOCRATS: RE:COAKLEY/BROWN.

(Crossposted at Daily Kos.)

ALL RIGHT, YOU FECKLESS SONS OF BITCHES, LISTEN UP!
Because this is your Goddamn lives I’m talking about!

First off, the finger pointing.  Coakley’s people are blaming the White House for their failure to tap down Wall Street.  Party insiders are blaming Coakley for half assing her campaign.  The rank and file are blaming Tim Kaine and the DNC. 
You know what?  Let’s make this easy.  YOU ALL SUCKED!!!

Obama and the Dems have been too soft on Wall Street and Insurance companies.  Coakley did piss away a substantial lead.  Tim Kaine does need to be replaced, preferably by Howard Dean.  So put away the rifles and disperse the circular firing squad.  To paraphrase The Firesign Theater, you’re all Bozos on this bus!
Next, you will cease and desist all bellyaching, forthwith!  Ye Gods.  I’ve never seen such a bunch of namby pamby cry babies in my life!  You lose one tiny special election and you start falling apart faster than a post-op Heidi Montag!  Hell, even Barney Frank, who usually a model of legislative bad-assery, started making Lemonade and Chocolate Sauce in his pants!

I have two reactions to the election in Massachusetts. One, I am disappointed. Two, I feel strongly that the Democratic majority in Congress must respect the process and make no effort to bypass the electoral results.
If Martha Coakley had won, I believe we could have worked out a reasonable compromise between the House and Senate healthcare bills. But since Scott Brown has won and the Republicans now have 41 votes in the Senate, that approach is no longer appropriate.
I am hopeful that some Republican senators will be willing to discuss a revised version of healthcare reform because I do not think that the country would be well-served by the healthcare status quo. But our respect for democratic procedures must rule out any effort to pass a healthcare bill as if the Massachusetts election had not happened.
Going forward, I hope there will be a serious effort to change the Senate rule which means that 59 votes are not enough to pass major legislation, but those are the rules by which the healthcare bill was considered, and it would be wrong to change them in the middle of this process.

Now to Sen. Frank’s credit, he has since walked his statement back. 
But, seriously. when your initial reaction to going from a super majority to a plain vanilla majority is to hope that “Some Republican senators will be willing to discuss a revised version of healthcare reform.”, do not expect me to act like your manhood has not been fundamentally diminished.
Because let’s get something straight here.  The current incarnation of the GOP cannot be trusted to run a God-damned lemonade stand, let alone be trusted to help with any reform efforts.  They didn’t do dick during the Surplus efforts except maybe strip Pandemic Preparedness out.  Hell, their effort at an alternate reform bill would have increased the number of uninsured seniors!  When they were in charge during the Bush years, they were good at two things: Blowing shit up and spending shitloads of money!
That not leading a nation!  That’s making a Michael Bay movie! 
In short, these are not people you negotiate withThese are people you keep sharp objects away from.
You may now ask yourselves, “Well then Mister 9/10th of a liberal arts education, what do YOU think we should do?”  Well, first…

1. Finish Health Care Reform, STAT!

Brown has already said this about Health Care Reform…

“The health care bill that’s being proposed in Washington is broken. We need to start over. I would be proud to be the 41st vote, and go back to the drawing board,” Brown said in Monday night’s debate about giving the Republicans power to filibuster and kill the bill in Congress.

As flawed as the Senate bill is, starting from scratch is not an option.  People are worn out dog tired and don’t have the belly for pushing the reset button on this thing.  This leaves us with three options. Have the House vote on the finished Senate bill and then get it to the President’s desk and then fix any problems with it later.  (Something House Progressives are not in the mood to do.) Or Reconciliation that only takes 51 votes and will get a lot, if not all of the bill through. Or…and this is the big one…NUKE THE FILLIBUSTER!

The nuclear option is used in response to a filibuster or other dilatory tactic. A senator makes a point of order calling for an immediate vote on the measure before the body, outlining what circumstances allow for this. The presiding officer of the Senate, usually the vice president of the United States or the president pro tempore, makes a parliamentary ruling upholding the senator’s point of order. The Constitution is cited at this point, since otherwise the presiding officer is bound by precedent. A supporter of the filibuster may challenge the ruling by asking, “Is the decision of the Chair to stand as the judgment of the Senate?” This is referred to as “appealing from the Chair.” An opponent of the filibuster will then move to table the appeal. As tabling is non-debatable, a vote is held immediately. A simple majority decides the issue. If the appeal is successfully tabled, then the presiding officer’s ruling that the filibuster is unconstitutional is thereby upheld. Thus a simple majority is able to cut off debate, and the Senate moves to a vote on the substantive issue under consideration. The effect of the nuclear option is not limited to the single question under consideration, as it would be in a cloture vote. Rather, the nuclear option effects a change in the operational rules of the Senate, so that the filibuster or dilatory tactic would thereafter be barred by the new precedent.

“But Richard?  Isn’t this an extreme measure?”
 Well, duh.  That’s why it’s called the nuclear option and not the Hello Kitty option.
“But what if the Republicans regain control of Congress?  Wouldn’t they be able to ram though anything they want unhindered?”
You mean like they did when Bush was in office with a smaller majority and Dems actually had access to the fillibuster?
“I…Uh…I should just sit down then?”
Yes, rhetorical voice.  I think you should. 

2. Don’t start swerving to the Right!

There’s a conventional wisdom start to shape up out there that says that The Dems lost because they were being too liberal and that they have to move to the center to be effective.
As Keith Olbermann explained last night, that conventional wisdom is bullshit.

So Dems, listen up, this is what you should really do.
You remember that episode of “Seinfeld” where George Costanza realizes that every instinct he’s ever had in his life was wrong and so he resolves to do the opposite?

This is how you treat the GOP!  Like George Costanza’s instincts.  They say down with cap and trade?  You enact it!  They call for tax cuts for upper earners?  You tax them back to the stone age! They espouse family values?  You avoid getting caught trying to suck dick in an airport bathroom!
Just remember, if these assholes were so smart, why did they get their asses kicked by you sorry, weak kneed, granola muching pinheads?

3. Stop letting Lobbyists write your bills!

Two words.  Max Baucus.  ’nuff said.


4. Make Joe Lieberman shut up!

Seriously, that one action will buy you back so much good will at this point.  Especially after shooting off his big bazoo like this

Today’s tight Senate contest in Massachusetts, Lieberman added, is indication that Capitol Hill has grown too partisan — and voters are fed up. “The independents are speaking loudly around the country today and they’re telling us, one, to get together here in Washington,” he said. “The second thing really is to do something about the economy and move to the center and worry about things that [independents] are worried about.”

Leaving aside for the moment how wrong headed that advice really is, (See reason no. 2 above.) You really want to take advice from a man who’s poll numbers are dropping…

Lieberman’s active campaigning against the Democratic Party last year hasn’t won him too many friends back home. Democrats go for (Democratic Attorney General Richard) Blumenthal by 83%-9%, and independents are for Blumenthal 55%-29%. Lieberman is the de facto Republican nominee in this match, and with GOP voters he scores 67%-23% over Blumenthal.
Lieberman’s job approval is also at only 45%, with 48% disapproving. Among Democrats that’s a 21%-70% rating, Republicans 75%-20%, while independents give him a narrow approval of 48%-46%.

Lieberman is getting so unpopular, he has to wear a lantern around his neck because the sun won’t shine on him.
You know one of the reasons why Harry Reid’s poll numbers are in the toilet in Nevada?  Because he’s let Lieberman lead him around the nose on Health Care reform.  When Lieberman threatened to join the Republicans in a Filibuster on the Senate Bill unless the Public Option was taken out, the response Reid should have given was this…

“Let me make you a counter offer.  You don’t fuck us on the procedural vote and you get to vote no on the actual, final bill thus not upsetting the big pharma lobbyists that pay your bills.  And as an added bonus, I don’t strip you of your committee chairmanships that we let you keep, even though you tried to fuck us with McCain last year.  And you don’t wind up spending the last two years of your Senate career playing Minesweeper in your office.  How’s that sound?

Seriously, if that guy were running in Nevada, I would overlook the whole “Negro Dialect” who-hah and vote for him in a heartbeat.

In short, it is no longer enough to be less awful than the other guy!  This is a new century and it demands nothing short of excellence!  Half-ass no longer cuts it!
What the matter, you crying?
Here.  Take my hankerchief.
Go in the bathroom.  Wash your faces.  Take a moment to compose yourselves.
You feel better now?
Good.
NOW GET YOUR ASSES BACK TO WORK OR COME NOVEMBER, WE’LL REALLY GIVE YOU SOMETHING TO CRY ABOUT!!

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About theragingcelt

Actor/Writer/Homegrown Pundit/Cranky Progressive/Sometimes Filmmaker. talesofthegeeknation.com
This entry was posted in Democrats shooting themseves in the foot, Health Care, Joe Lieberman, Politics, Sen Harry Reid, Sen. Ted Kennedy. Bookmark the permalink.

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