A few notes about this video.
1. You are seeing the edited version. My preferred cut was at 11:45 but I had to slice two minutes to get it down to YouTube Length. I’ll be posting the longer cut on my web.mac site presently. I’ll add that link when I’m done.
2. The reason the second half is a little shakier is that I dumped a whole chunk of the bit before the show. Originally, it was going to be this…
Finally, something inside me snapped and in my mind’s eye, I had her bent over a table, slamming her from behind, quoting Karl Marx.
“Yeah, the workers control the means of Production, don’t they, bitch! You feel the proletariat rising up now, don’t ya!”
Photos of Lenin, Billy Bragg singing “The International”! And still nothing! If I hadn’t thrown Natalie Portman in there, I wouldn’t have gotten out alive.
I dumped it because James had the note that the reason I was having trouble was because of her personality and I was suddenly turning it into a class war thing. Plus, there was a potential rape undertone that was not intended and was making me personally uncomfortable.
And hey, “Natalie Portman with a strap on” as a laugh line is for me, just pure win.
4. One of the things that continues to amaze me about open mikes is how a good number of people go up and just talk without having any actual jokes. I’m not saying all my jokes hit. But at least you can tell that they are at least joke like objects. One guy went up and my hand to God, only did set ups. Total punchline free zone. Seriously, go back and listen to your favorite comedians and examine how they construct jokes. And then sit down, write some jokes and then read them out loud. Trust me, you’ll be the better for it.
5. The big guy who went second and talked about not wanting to “fuck fat bitches” for a good two minutes tonight? I just need to say this.
You’re an asshole.
You’re not funny.
And there are animal carcasses that are more fuckable than you.
Seriously, stop doing comedy. People will thank you for it.
6. I meant to say “Necrophiliac”, not “Narcoleptic”. Joke still landed though.
7. And for the record, yes, I’m having a very nice time on my vacation as the second half the the clip will attest to. That’s not just regular laughter you’re hearing, that tension release laughter. It’s been a long year.
More to come. Stay tuned.
EDIT: Link to the longer version can be found here!