"The Chief Export of Chuck Norris is pain".

As if we don’t have enough problems, right now…

The call by some right wing leaders for rebellion and for the military to refuse the commander in chief’s orders is joined by Chuck Norris who claims that thousands of right wing cell groups have organized and are ready for a second American Revolution. During an appearance on the Glen Beck radio show he promised that if things get any worse from his point of view he may “run for president of Texas.” The martial artist/actor/activist claims that Texas was never formally a part of the United States in the first place and that if rebellion is to come through secession Texas would lead the way.

Today in his syndicated column on WorldNetDaily Norris reiterates the point: “That need may be a reality sooner than we think. If not me, someone someday may again be running for president of the Lone Star state, if the state of the union continues to turn into the enemy of the state.”

Norris claims that; “Thousands of cell groups will be united around the country in solidarity over the concerns for our nation.” The right wing cells will meet during a live telecast, “We Surround Them,” on Friday March 13 at 5 p.m.
He closes with the words of Sam Houston followed by a plug for his next martial arts event.
“We view ourselves on the eve of battle.”
Now wait just a Goddamn minute…

We just went through eight years of a president who got us into two ill-defined wars, turned a budget surplus into a massive deficit and essentially turned the country into a dictatorship and you were fine with this?
But now we have a new president who’s trying to fix this mess and suddenly you start metaphorically waving guns in the air in your WorldNetDaily Column. And why?

Thomas Jefferson counseled us, “We must not let our rulers load us with perpetual debt.” Yet the Feds have just skyrocketed our national deficit and debt by trillions of dollars, and it plans much more fiscal expansion with few expectations of resistance. Despite that George Washington admonished, “To contract new debts is not the way to pay for old ones,” we keep borrowing and bailing, while we watch the stock market plunge further every time we do.

So despite the fact Obama inherited the Deficit from Bush and that he plans on cutting the deficit in half by the end of his first term, you still want to get all Washington on him?

And this…

George Washington advised, “The great rule of conduct in regard to foreign nations is in extending our commerical

relations [and] having with them as little political connection as possible.” Yet the Obama adminstration just pledged $900 Million Dollars in U.S. taxpayer-funded aid to Hamas-controlled Gaza and Mahmoud Abbas’ Palestinian Authority.

You mean the $900 Million dollars meant to rebuild civilian homes and increase security? A deal that could isolate Hamas and win the hearts and minds of the civilian population? Because, it’s really hard to yell “Death to America” with any conviction after they just fixed your roof and plumbing?
And then this…

When I appeared on Glenn Beck’s radio show, he told me that someone had asked him, “Do you really believe that there is going to be trouble in the future?” And he answered, “If this country starts to spiral out of control and Mexico melts down or whatever, if it really starts to spiral out of control, before America allows a country to become a totalitarian country (which it would have under I think the Republicans as well in this situation; they were taking us to the same place, just slower), Americans won’t stand for it. There will be parts of the country that will rise up.” Then Glenn asked me and his listening audience, “And where’s that going to come from?” He answered his own question, “Texas, it’s going to come from Texas. Do you agree with that Chuck?” I replied, “Oh yeah!” Definitely.

In the first place, what the hell are you hanging out with Glen Beck for? This is the guy who based on an innocent remark, accused Al Gore of creating a new Hitler Youth!

Or claimed that Vice President Biden had secret talks with the AFLCIO.

Or even treated us to “24” split screen close up of his eyes.

Seriously, if I didn’t know any better, I’d say he was trying to scan me!
However, I am somewhat pleased that Mr. Beck acknowledged that the previous administration was heading down a totalitarian path. It at least showed a slender thread connection with reality.
Also, you honestly think that all of Texas would go for this rising up jazz? Granted the state went for McCain but forty three point eight of state wide voters went for Obama. A five point five improvement over Kerry’s numbers in 2004. I can tell you right now, Austin ain’t going to do shit to help.

Which, of course brings us to the punch line.

For those losing hope, and others wanting to rekindle the patriotic fires of early America, I encourage you to join Fox News’ Glenn Beck, me and millions of people across the country in the live telecast, “We Surround Them,” on Friday afternoon (March 13 at 5 p.m. ET, 4 p.m. CT and 2 p.m. PST). Thousands of cell groups will be united around the country in solidarity over the concerns for our nation. You can host or attend a viewing party by going to Glenn’s website. My wife Gena and I will be hosting one from our Texas ranch, in which we’ve invited many family members, friends and law enforcement to join us. It’s our way of saying “We’re united, we’re tired of the corruption, and we’re not going to take it anymore!”
Again, Sam Houston put it well when he gave the marching orders, “We view ourselves on the eve of battle. We are nerved for the contest, and must conquer or perish. It is vain to look for present aid: None is at hand. We must now act or abandon all hope! Rally to the standard, and be no longer the scoff of mercenary tongues! Be men, be free men, that your children may bless their father’s name.”

And then you close with a plug for a Martial Arts event. Because nothing whets the appetite for an armed uprising like watching a bunch of guys kick each other in the head.
Look, Chuck. Believe it or not, I kind of understand where you’re coming from. Listening to you guys go on about Obama is kind of like looking into a “Mirror, Mirror” version of my own cerebellum for the last eight years. What you think you see in Obama, we saw in Bush. You feel that you have legitimate problems with how Obama’s running the country, that’s fine.
But here’s the thing.
We didn’t start stockpiling weapons or make noises about succeeding from the union. We wrote letters to the editor, had voter registration drives, gave money to candidates who’s views we supported. Hell, I devoted most of my YouTube output to supporting my own political point of view and being snarky about the other side. (In my defense, it was reality based snark.) In short, we worked in the existing political system. And what did we get for our trouble? A new president and a peaceful transfer of power.
But now, the shoe is on the other foot and how do you react, you whine about the liberal media and start stroking your guns. To put it bluntly, sir, that’s punk ass behavior!
The fact is that you lost because in this past election cycle, more people responded to the ideas Obama put forward than McCain. Obama won fair and square and that’s all there is too it. You got a legitimate beef and want to make the case to the American public. Fine, do it. That’s how the system is supposed to work.
But if you and your buddies choose to go the route of violence, then I have no use for you. Because all that way is going to do is get a lot of innocent people killed. And history will remember you as the asshole who fired the first shot!
UPDATE: David Neiwert over at Orcinus has more.
EDIT: 3-13-09. Fixed grammar issues.


About theragingcelt

Actor/Writer/Homegrown Pundit/Cranky Progressive/Sometimes Filmmaker. talesofthegeeknation.com
This entry was posted in Chuck Norris, Glenn Beck, Right wing Idiots, The (Lack of.) Geekness. Bookmark the permalink.

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