Dear Sen. Jindal.
First off, let me say that I understand the difficultly of the job that you had this evening. You had to give the GOP response to President Obama’s address to Congress tonight and let’s be blunt, he is a hard act to follow.
Let’s be blunt about this. Obama’s shit is tight! He knows his Oratory. And tonight, he managed to deliver a speech that managed to be both realistic about our current situation and remarkably optimistic. Whether he can pull off the goals he stated in the speech is yet to be determined. (And there’s still the matter of The Prison at Bagram that’s got me concerned.) But for tonight, it was a solid piece of political theater. Anyone would have looked lousy by comparison.
But here’s the thing, though…
Even if you separate your comments from Obama’s speech and just look at them as a contained event…you still stunk up the joint.
First off, your speaking style. You raced through it way too fast. I didn’t catch your “Preexisting condition” joke until the second time around. (And that was actually a pretty good line.) Also, (and you can’t tell from the embedded video above.) it may have been a better idea to be on your mark when the camera started than to walk in.
Second: Katrina, really?
You thought that would help? I understand that you believe that it’s a prime example of Government failing. But the thing is that you, the GOP, were running the Government at the time!!!
You’re trying to sell the American people on the GOP and you lead with their biggest failure?
It’s like giving the toast at your best friend’s wedding and opening with the story about the time in Tijuana, he got wasted on Cuervo and blew a donkey.
Also, it looks like your story about the bureaucrat trying to stop the improvised flotilla of boats from rescuing people trapped isn’t passing the smell test.
Third: you know how you said that the spending on volcano monitoring was pork. Turns out…not really.
Among the scenarios in which the USGS’s monitoring can assist — the catastrophic eruption of Mount St. Helens on May 18, 1980, which killed 57 people (including a geologist monitoring the mountain) and was the deadliest and costliest volcanic eruption in U.S. history ($2.74 billion in 2007 dollars). This event was preceded by thousands of earthquakes in the two months before the volcano blew its top; some of these prompted the governor of Washington to declare a state of emergency and many residents were evacuated from a designated danger zone.
Volcano monitoring likely saved many lives — and significant money — in the case of the 1991 eruption of Mount Pinatubo in the Philippines (where the United States had military bases at the time), according to the USGS.
The cataclysmic eruption lasted more than 10 hours and sent a cloud of ash as high as 22 miles into the air that grew to more than 300 miles across.
The USGS spent less than $1.5 million monitoring the volcano and was able to warn of the impending eruption, which allowed authorities to evacuate residents, as well as aircraft and other equipment from U.S. bases there.
The USGS estimates that the efforts saved thousands of lives and prevented property losses of at least $250 million (considered a conservative figure).
Forth: You seem to claim that there was no transparency in the stimulus package. What do you call this?
They got graphs, PDF’s , all manner of wonkish detail showing where the money is going. That’s your transparency.
Fifth: When you talk about the GOP being sorry about abandoning their principals and being kicked to the curb and you vowing that they’ll change their ways, you know what I’m hearing? Ike Turner.
“I’m sorry, baby. I didn’t mean to invade Iraq and decimate the middle class but you know I get crazy sometimes”.
Forget it, Jindal. It’s over. We’re done. As a nation we have collectively moved out, taken up Buddhism and started work on “Private Dancer”.
Oh, and by the way. Not accepting the money to increase unemployment benefits? Kind of a douchbag move.
And also, if you feel that at anytime during this post I’ve been snarky and disrespectful, just be glad I didn’t bring up the exorcism.
Oh, did I just do that? Oops!